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| Over the past year of unexpected things that have occured in my world; one tends to change a little bit. You become less of the person you once recognized. Sometimes the things we go through cause one to change their group of friends or even their perspective on God. With my mom being diagnosed with cancer, finding out that grandma would never be coming to the house for another Christmas and still being able to keep going on with some kind of peace is strange for me.
A year ago, i was making plans for my first year in college and even beyond that, but in a quick and quiet moment, those plans and the excitement that came along with them, was gone. At the time, I could not understand why things were happening the way they were, but as the months progressed and i attended monday night bible study, it was as though the Lord was knocking on my hollow head saying, "This is all for a purpose: my will, not yours." Now i've always thought that 'things happen for a reason' and God is involved in the events it entails, but it began hitting home when in December, mom was able to go to the christmas concert at church. By seeing all those people looking at us as we walked in - some people id never seen before - and the realization that God had been working through the prayers of the people at the church was mindblowing. I realized that these circumstances we were going through did have a purpose and that the Lord was at the center of all that.
As the months have gone on, other unpleasant things have come our way and surprisingly enough, i feel a sense of peace. I do not quite know how i got it, but the only conclusion i can come to is that its a God thing. Sometimes it's hard to accept the reality that the people i was close to when i entered high school, are not a part of my life now. Although some of them I would have rather held onto, I try to see it as if God is done using them to help me through whatever circumstance or event i experienced. Sometimes it's so easy to point fingers about why so and so and myself arent close anymore, but if we dwell in the past, how can we move forward in the past?and again i could be mumbling foolishness. But All i do know is that God is good and he is still on the throne..that the friends i have now; well, they're in my life because God put them there - for a reason.
"Everytime you run, Everytime you hide, Everytime it hurts, Everytime you cry, Everytime you runaway, Everytime you hide your face, And it feels so far away, I'm right here with you" | | |
| its hard to let this go.
sometimes i feel like im going in circles,
driving myself crazy.
theres got to be some reason as to why everything i do
and every memory i recall is of you.
theres gotta be some reason why.
see those city lights?
yeah those bright ones over there.
they remind me of the nights
you used to take over the town with those bright eyes of yours.
oh, how you used to brighten up my heart with those bright eyes.
i let you get away, so cleanly
without a trace, without a sound
by now my hope for you has fleeted me
-ourlastnight
at the mention of your name,
ten thousand knives penetrate her heart
and the crashing waves urge to wash every last part of you away.
to wash you away.
&& you were my hearts desire.
no one else would do, darling.
Everything happens for a reason.
The good turns to bad and the bad turns to good.
Its the way these things happen,
but of all, everything works out for the best.
Even if it takes a little time,
Things will get better.
Everything will be alright.
And when everything seems to be falling down,
i seem to miss you most, my best friend.
And when everyone who used to be around has
  turned their back on you, one never feels so alone..
but with your heart, im able to remember how you loved me
and how deep down, i knew it all along.
The notion that you loved me;
it keeps me alive, even through times like these.
shes waiting patiently for him to come back home.
come home from this war we've been fighting
and for things to return to what they used to be
i think God puts people in our lives for a reason. Not the ones that just pass by, but the ones that are meant to make a difference. its supposed to hurt when they leave. when it hurts, it means theyve changed us in a way only that person could affect us. in a way no other human being could, and sometimes these memories of these people are going to sting more than we'd like, but thats what it takes to make you the person you become.
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sometimes you've gotta put all the shit behind you and move on.
its gonna hurt like hell, but sometimes that's what it takes.
at this point in her life,
she's beginning to realize what a true friend looks like,
who will always be there,
and the type of people who are out to get the best of you.
but darling, you can't let them,
no you can't let them win.
the nighttime is when we come alive
we'll show em what we're made of,
and make em wish they never asked.
he turned around to see she had disappeared into the evening breeze.
she wasnt just gone figuratively,
just like that,
her heart, her hopes, her dreams were gone with her.
they say everything happens for a reason,
that we fell in and out of love in the change of 5 seasons.
but darling, im not so sure i believe that crap anymore.
its just something they hold onto
when everything and everyone you love and care about walks out the door.
dont tell me nothing else matters.
if nothing else mattered,
this wouldnt be this.
ive wasted enough of my life on this;
people telling me how to be,
how to live, how to think,
how to be something im not.
newsflash people; im gonna be me.
no more fake smiles, just what i am.
terrible thoughts or not, you cant change who you are.
in a deep breath, it all starts to change.
Nothing looks the same,
but we all must keep going.
must keep going
her hope used to soar above the tallest buildings,
now all shes got is enough to get a train ride to the next trip to getting lost
the faces may change,
but the stories stay the same.
the scenario never changes,
the lesson is never new
Baffled by the way she screams.
Shattered hearts and bursting seams.
Life is full of expectations never to be met.
Singing songs of thankfulness could never be enough.
Shifty eyes, the fakest grins.
Shall I do the honors?
this is my mountain.
this is the opportunity for a new beginning.
this is the turn in the fucked up story of life
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| Did we every really fall apart,
or was there something in the way of us all along.
tell me, tell me
do you ever really miss the moonlit walks,
late night talks,
our heartfelt tears paid tribute
to our biggest fears.
but theres a reason for everything;
even the green in the trees,
and the blue in the sky
or was this meant to fall apart,
straight from the start.
heres a story of a boy and girl;
boy loves girl,
boy tries his best to care for and protect girl,
girl up and walks away.
now theres no reason left to live.
baby your eyes never looked so full of hope and bright
as we said goodbye underneath the sky last night
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
-- 1 John 4:18
Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
because out of them all,
you're the only one thats helped me rise and fall
and im afraid.
afraid of what happens when you turn your back on me,
and walk out that door.
are we forgetting our forgiveness? | | |
| but theres beauty in the fall,
in the struggling faces.
you never looked so good as you did last night,
underneath the city lights there walking with your friend,
laughing at the moon.
I swear you looked right through me,
but i'm still living with your goodbye,
and you're just going on with your life.
how can you just walk on by,
without a tear in your eye?
dont you have the slightest feelings left for me?
maybe that's just your way,
of dealing with the pain..forgetting everything,
between our rise and fall..like we never loved at all..
so i hear you're doing fine,
seems like youre doing well-as far as i can tell.
time is leaving us behind,
another week has passed,
[i dont know if i can last]
and still i havent laughed yet.
so tell me what your secret is?
to letting go, letting go like you did,
like you did..
did you forget the magic?
forget the passion?
did you ever miss me?
ever long to kiss me?
maybe thats just your way..
you never looked so good as you did last night..
[-FJP]
i never knew love called names
they must have different ideas in this place.
she tries to throw you away,
but you keep coming back.
its getting to much to handle,
leave her alone
leave her there to deal
you had the chance to leave
and the chance to stay;
but you chose to walk away
my dreams are empty,
from the day you slipped away.
-OhSoClassyQuotesx3
People ask me if I believe in forever and
I restrain the desire to laugh in their face
because with the way my lifes going,
I don't even believe in a tomorrow.
we all have those deep dark secrets we'll never tell
about the times we broke the law and tresspassed
and we have those secrets about how we silently fall apart
and let the world pass us by while in a state of solemn sorrow
it cant get much worse than this,
its going to get better: not worse
or will it?
he takes a sinister outlook on life outside these four walls.
the kind of superiority to start a war,
the kind of shield to end one internally
to put an end to a mistake.
and i guess this cold silence
answers all of the rhetorical questions
These christmas songs bring back the old memories of the best year of my life.
if we could all just skip the day
and come out on the other side,
sometimes if we could do just that for our weakest days,
maybe the world could begin to be a better place.
..because sometimes there is no hope.
find something to help you heal,
and just fall into it.
the pain will just fade away
she needs help, she needs some help
the walls are closing in on her
i wouldve fought, i wouldve fought
but your heart's taken its toll on me
send someone to fill this
unreplaceable hole;
to reach out, and pull her up
sometimes things get screwed up
lives can get turned upside down,
try with all of your remedies and caring words,
darling, some things can never be 'cured'
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